Full heart

 This is the end and a beginning. For the past year or more, I have had this team in my head. I still have NO idea what I'm doing. I got to a point last month where I'd decided....I'm going to make it happen. I reached out via FB for a graphic designer and found the phenomenal Eunice. She took my vision and made it more than anything I could have ever imagined.

When I first saw it - I was excited and the emotion got stuck. THEN - I sat down and just looked at the beauty. The symbolism. And I cried. I cried because I made something happen. I cried because, not only that - but...now my story will mean something.  I'm so excited to officially LAUNCH Race 2 Rise.

Race 2 Rise is open to anyone who is willing to be an advocate for health in the form of mental health advocacy and abuse prevention. I firmly believe that all forms of abuse could be eradicated if we focused on being mentally healthy. You'll notice the green in the logo, representing mental health. You'll see the purple which represents domestic violence and abuse awareness. You'll see blue at the center because children, youth, and childlike innocence is the core of our being. The gold and silver are royal colors, we are all royalty. You'll see a tear to mourn where we've come from and to show compassion for those still in their storm. Lastly - sparkle on her tummy and neck - our most vulnerable places - for when we allow vulnerability - we'll truly sparkle beyond anything imaginable. It doesn't matter your sport - as you sport the gear of R2R, you're going to promote conversations which foster awareness of these topics and this saves our brothers and sisters around the globe by giving them a safe space to talk, explore, and learn. I'm so excited to have you as a part of this! Please feel free to invite those you feel would be an asset to this team in promoting healthy conversations. Together we: Rise to Happy, Healthy, and Whole. #race2rise #savelivesandspirits #loveoneanother #starttheconversation #italk #sparkleon

Sassy Curls

My friend, CK, asks "Hey, any new blog posts lately?" And ...nope. So - thanks for keeping me on the up and up!

I haven't done much by way of my health since - October? The Halloweaver's Needle Hike. I think I've gone on one or two since, but nothing commited.

I was getting down, thinking - shoot! THIS time, last year - I was prepping for a year of Spartans, a few other races...and here I am - almost 20 lbs UP from where I was last year at this time, I think, and haven't seen the gym in 4 months - September!

Everyday was guilt I wasn't going to the gym - I shared a bit with my coach because we were supposed to have a 90 day review but there wasn't anything to review. I hesitated whether or not to share - so I did a pinch. I'll share a pinch here to give perspective and because #Italk and this is part of #mystory, where I've come from and how I'm learning to #sparkleon

See - whether or not it was intentional or not, the "gym" has become, in times of my life, an extremely unhealthy place for me that nearly extinuished my sparkle. Battling not being good enough, having my flame of desire and adventure nearly extinguished, paralyzing fear of failure, fear of not being loved, "earning" love through what I could do - pile that on to some distressing conditioning where they gym was the only place I could spend time with my husband when he wasn't out and about - but that came with "rules." Pile on top of that - the gym was a place where I saw unhealthy relationships form and families crumble as a result of this. Sure, there were underlying things - but an immense amount of anxiety had planted itself in my being - for more than "I'm worried I'll drop the bar on my foot."

Diverge with me for a moment - I have curly hair - true story!

So, when I got it cut - it was fun to have her style it straight. Well, OF COURSE the day I got it cut, it rained that night. Curls LOVE humidity. So - Thursday on my monthly trip to the temple, my sassy, unpredictable, multi-curl curly hair (I have waves, sausage curls, ringlets..upside down in the middle curls, no joke...) decided...Nope. I will not be straight. N.O. and, it revolted in it's own way.

I was sharing with some friends - I actually have really fine hair. My mom has the same. Mom can't get her hair to hold a curl, but...same texture with the curly genes, mine is crazy curly. I'm learning how to tame it in my old age, I didn't realize I even HAD curly hair until about 4.5 years ago! 

(this photo just because I thought it was pretty).

So - I was thinking about my sassy curl. Sometimes, we need to go against the grain, against the norm and stand out. Make a difference.

This year - my word is "Crescere." It is my favorite word in the Italian language. It could be translated as "to become." After toying around with a couple of others - I knew in my heart - this needs to be my focus this year.

I can't remember all of my words:Enough, Love, Crescere. My friend A.L. taught me about this idea of a word each year and I've been doing it ever since. I can't remember all of them...oops.

Well, now fast forward to this last picture. I have two friends, CP and HP who are health coaches and I decided, ok, I'll go back on program for a month...

Last year was all about love - giving...and welcoming. MM taught me that before the year had even kicked off, "I hope that, not only will you be able to love - but you'll find yourself able to receive love." She's brilliant.

When your heart has been hurt - it's hard to believe that the love coming your way is genuine, authentic, real.  I've taken a few "assessments" to see where I stand. "Are you willing to change?" What these assesments don't know is that, probably for a few years now, I've had an "Interactive Notebook of Amanda" with 5 areas for growth and I assess (in a perfect world) monthly on Fast Sunday.

 Anyways - so, my willingness to change? It's a never ending journey. So, full circle back to where we started. Friend, I don't know if you've ever had a a heart-racing, numbing, near tears experience when you were about to do something that you were scared to do - but you pushed through it? I've had...a lot. Championship hill at the sand dunes, last Saturday when a good ...there is no word how to describe he and his wife accurately..friend, leader, coach, etc. had...made...me lead our 2 Jeep squad out of Box Canyon on my very first journey as a driver four wheeling - like I imagine jumping out of a plane would feel..that feeling? Do you know about that feeling?

Well, that was me....Thursday night - one of my coaches reached out, "I'm coaching at 6 am, you should come!"..or something like that. I looked to see who of my peeps were going. Some of my favorite people who I went with in the summer were going to be there. "Okay. I signed up."

The next morning - my body woke up at 4:12, cuz...of course. But - though I was tempted to chicken out, I'd told my coach I was going...I had butterflies, I had the tingles through my body, I had the thoughts and inner fears...but, fortunately, my counselor "When you're feeling your balloon (of anxiety) get bigger....you've survived 100% of every time before!" So, I pushed myself out the door....nearly in tears because my "Fear" was definitely trying to abort the mission. As I pulled into the gym parking lot, I checked again to see who would be there - one more person, who - I was so grateful for and my heart needed that - instant tears, I wiped away - grabbed my waterbottle and headed in to the gym that has always felt like home, but I was scared to go to for all sorts of reasons.

Remember those people I shared about - the ones I was excited to see? They were happy to see me and offered "Welcome back!" Not - "Dang, you haven't been for a while, you suck..." or any other negative messages that were looming. I settled in - did the work out, modified ;-) and finished.  No one uttered, "You could have done better! You didn't push yourself. You weren't good enough. You don't belong here." Sounds silly? I'd heard that before - those words.

I share that to give you insight  - but also, I WILL launch my team this year, Race 2 Rise. And - as an ambassador for health - healthy relationships and a healthy self - I couldn't NOT share. I hope you see the difference - one approach and people were healthy. One - tried to steal my sparkle, or at least dull it.

So - sometimes, we need to be sassy, like my curls, to overcome a world that's tried to "straighten us out." When we do that in a healthy and positive way - we can, and we can help others, shine to our fullest brilliance..like CK, HP, CP, MM, BM, and my gym friends do for me. Looking back at the overwhelming emotion of going to the gym, it's hard to process or even accept that it's true, what it was like. Dear friend, that's what anxiety looks like. It's real. It may be "all in your head" but we're all learning how to plug through and curl when past experiences are trying to straighten us out. (I loved my straight hair, btw - this isn't about that :p)

So - here's my week: burn from the Jeep (I had to get under it to look for why it was being weird..and ..oops, that was hot), my hair!, after eating one of my favorite fuelings, and..if you look close enough - my wounds from some serious struggles between me and a jumprope!

Don't let anyone diminish your sparkle. Be your bad curly haired self and get out there and take on the world and become who you were meant to become. #sparkleon

Dying in the Desert

    Ok, so - haha! Apparently, I was SO dead, I completely forgot to tell the story of DEATH in the desert. Thanks to CK for telling me I had NO WORDS here, haha. Here's the words:

About a year ago, I was supposed to race with some friends - but for various reasons, I couldn't. Well, the day of one of those races, I was gonna show someone I could do it - so I did a 10 mile run in the desert about a year ago. Well, fast forward to me finding some new friends who enjoy all the things, and we thought it a good idea to go hiking!

I couldn't remember where I'd been before, but I remembered it was a there-and-back, so I shared the approximate location to the best of my recollections and KN found, what we thought was, the path. The review on All Trails https://www.alltrails.com/ had said it wasn't shady and there were a lot of people..and, it was 14 miles.

See, here's the thing - I can't say I've EVER done 14 miles...not STRAIGHT!!!!  I've collected that, plus some, over about 14 hours - so I was starting to get nervous the night before...I text KN and she said not to fret, it was for fun. PHEW!

When we pulled to the trailhead, it didn't look right - so - THANKFULLY, I log my activities using Strava and/or Runkeeper (yes, I run them simultaneously to make sure there's a system of checks and balances.) SO - because of this, I was able to go back in my history to last July and find the pin! Success. For future reference, it's this:

A bit of backstory - my friend...and I...we're not from these parts. We knew there was a "heat advisory" and figured, hey - we wake up early enough, we'll beat the heat! We calculated when to wake up and were on the road by 5:05 AM.  We miiiiight have taken a wrong turn/missed an exit that isn't actually there going northbound on the 202 on the east side of the valley...so we didn't arrive at our said place and start hiking until just before 6:00AM.

The thing about there-and-backs...you just go THERE and you can go THERE as long as you want to go - at about 4.47 miles, we looked at each other with some fierce determination that we were going to do 10 miles today, so - that we did, we ventured forth until HER keeper said 5 miles because...well, my trusty plan? I forgot to click on my Runkeeper annnnd....Strava took a small vacation in the middle. Apparently, it's been having some issues and if you were tracking us, it looks like we went diagonally across the desert in a perfectly straight line. There was no perfection about our hike and it was NOT straight ;p

Along the way, we spied some amazing cacti - had some great conversations about...well, life! The best part of hiking, right?

After we kicked some 5 mile dust, we took a break - at this point, I realized how brilliant my mate is - she had a pair of socks to change into! This is when I started typing things into my phone, oh - and, when we started to notice - hmm, it's starting to feel a bit toasty. Thank goodness we were on THIS trail that offered a respite of shade from a mountain on the way THERE.

After eating my FAVORITE Honey Stinger Waffle and some jelly things from my last race https://www.honeystinger.com/ that were SO scrumdidliumptious, we decided it was now time for the BACK portion. 5 miles, we got this.

Well - ever been in AZ...the HOT doesn't happen until midday - hence the reason behind waking up early and heading to the desert. Well - PSA here...at this moment of the hike, about 8am...it was about 97 degrees....and it clicked....hmm...a HEAT advisory means issss gonna be hot EARLY and y'all can't escape the Crock-Pottiness of this AMAZINGLY freakishly living convection oven that is called Mesa, AZ on a map.

Breaks started getting more frequent as KN wasn't doing so well and that energy from the most perfectly made waffle in the world (though it crumbles under the pressure - Honey Stinger, if you're reading this - ya gotta work on the crumb-ility of your product if you're gonna market to us racers who put these things in pockets and crevices to keep the with us for our times of need.)

It doesn't really matter how much water you have when the sun is eating you like a kid eats Oreo ice cream...there came a time where I got the chills...and the headache above my ears...and I knew, things were looking grave. My pack? I got this for my longer races, I LOVE it - there's room to store snacks and such - maybe not a bajillion things, but enough. https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B01LLO83WA/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o01_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

Me n KN took a break under a patch of shade - you become SUPER grateful for ANY shade in this crockpot, I think we stopped beneath a mesquite tree...I was ready to take a nap (red flag, btw...don't take naps in the desert when it's 100+ degrees)...when the timer went off after our break, she heard a car and said she'd LITERALLY prayed for someone to come give us a ride...I prayed if it was His will, we'd get a ride - or, no ride if we were supposed to learn something.

Well, they slowed down enough for us to ask for a ride - but they were going "far out there" and couldn't turn around - and two more cars followed. Well, poo. Then, like it was the movies - a whole JEEP club pulls up! Miracle of miracles - this whole time, we're checking in with each other to make sure we're ok getting into some complete stranger's car - as long as she wasn't alone and I wasn't alone - I was game.  So, KN walks over to the lead Jeep...tells them our story, asks them to have mercy upon our ever withering and perishing souls, please have grace and pity and drive us the last mile...

"Sorry, we don't have room. It's less than a mile, you'll be fine." Maybe those weren't the exact words, but that was that.  10 cars had come...and we were a going BACK and it was apparent to me in this, our time of ever so much need, the Lord had a lesson for us.  I'm still not sure what that lesson was - but I'm sure it'll hit me in the head like a 2x4 someday.

We took breaks about every..heck, I don't even know - but by this time, we're past 9:00 AM. Those of y'all thinking, "It was only 9, suck it up buttercups!" The PRACTICAL lesson we learned? When it says HEAT ADVISORY - just don't. Stay home, go swimming, reverse what it's like to live in a snowy blizzard fest of Central and Northwest Ohio (my home) and stay in, well - at least where air conditioning is plentiful, water is cold, and if you take a nap, the vultures won't wake you by picking at your eyeballs...assuming you wake.

I knew with every fiber of my being, BECAUSE Father had sent so many vehicles, His message was loud and clear - YOU will do this and you CAN. So, I knew because of that that day wouldn't be on the right hand of my dash. It didn't make it less difficult. I still had the phantom goose bumps from heat exhaustion.

But - yes. You've guessed it - maybe because I'm writing this, maybe because you read my other post that came after this, maybe because you have faith that could swallow up a mustard seed - I'm not sure. BUT, KN and I - we conquered. We prevailed. We did HARD things.  She shared with me that until that day, the hardest thing she'd done was Flat Iron. She wants to go on Ebay or something and get a medal and make a design over the top of it and create a finisher medal for our 10 miles of death. I told her I wanted in on that.

We learned - doesn't matter how early you wake up on crock-pot days - it's already too late. Pack a change of socks cuz that'd be a nice refreshing thing. Place the bladder of your pack spout up halfway filled with water the night before to have cold water and coldness on your back while you're hiking...pack an apple, beef jerky (maybe we were craving salt?), hat, sunglasses, put a cold water bottle (frozen) in a cooler to be waiting in the car for you (It'll be melted and sweaty, but will be perfect and you'll welcome it's embrace), electrolytes, a squirt bottle, a small fan ON the squirt bottle, an umbrella (it's a thing! Those people aren't crazy walking around shielding themselves from the downpour of sunshine, they're GENIUSES!), hydrate DAYS before and fuel properly, TP, and a wipe (no story behind it, just security.)

It never dawned on me - der, Amanda - umm, you start hydrating the Wednesday before a Saturday race. I had one ick race with my buddy when it was the hottest day of the year thus far - and, of course, it went down the next day for what seemed like another month - so, I learned...but, my point - I KNEW I was going to hike that Saturday, but I didn't prepare.  Now, that wouldn't have alleviated the heat or anything, but I'm sure it would have helped :D

That's the story of dying in the desert folks. I don't recommend it, but if you're like me and are an experiential learner, well....remember:

You can do hard things, too. Just make sure it's not with a heat advisory.

Sparkle on!

Sore in the Saddle

Greetings, friends! (If you've ever watched Jeff Dunham - I always think of "Greetings Infidels" but that only makes sense if you've watched some of his comedy - not a fan of his later stuff, but his early on stuff cracked. me. up!)

So, I promised real. I promised a look in to an average gal's life and how she races. To be honest - no excuses, I haven't been a good Spartan...when I didn't have a race to train for, I lost my "umph" for working out.  Then, there's a health code I live by called the "Word of Wisdom" and in it - it pretty much outlines a healthy way to live. 

That being said - I'm the type of member of a gym that gyms live for - the kind that pays the membership and doesn't go - well, my business coach didn't find this to be super solid advice. AND - if you know ANYTHING about the CrossFit community - my gym boss wasn't keen on this either.  In this world, you're family. You're cared about. You're expected to be there and when you're not - you're missed! So - I went back last week :D

Now - after spotty working out - a walk, a virtual race or two - it got kind of dicey. But, just like heading out of the gate at a race, super stoked! The WOD (workout of the day) included squats. The following day - I could NOT understand why I was so sore!  Haha, it wasn't until I was talking to my friend (thinking I'd only done 45 squats) when I realized I'd done 135! Bahaha....well, I didn't go back until today - those killed me, tbh! I was sore through Saturday. I DID go swimming twice, though - so I wasn't WITHOUT some sort of activity.

Well, today - back at it. I wasn't super awesome, but I did my best through my fatigue. I'm going to have to be patient with my body that I've been neglecting as I get back to where I was - weight, strength, stamina! BECAUSE!!!  We WILL race again. We will, in fact - some are already opening up :-)

 I have to pop on a Zoom meeting in a minute - but nutrition wise - I pretty much eat anything I want.  I don't tend to drink a lot of pop, eat a lot of chips, etc. I consider those a treat.  I LOVE salty things and sweet things. Popcorn, chocolate milk, etc. I'm not a total "health snob" BUT I know what my body likes. Maybe it's age - maybe it's been the whole time I've had a body, I just have finally started paying attention!  I LOVE salads. I'll have a salad everyday - it's the preparation I don't like much. I tend to allow myself one treat a day - whether it is a gatorade, candy, something sweet. SOMETIMES - I have more, sometimes, I have none.  I love Gatorade and Vitamin water more than pop - so I opt for G2 and Vitamin Water Zero - sometimes, though - like when my favorite flavor (Rain) isn't in "zero" I consume the calories! BUT - not everyday :-)

Another unintentional thing - I've pretty much cut out cow's milk. Sometimes with a milkshake, or a glass with dinner - I'll drink some, but I enjoy almond milk in my smoothies and on the - maybe once a week - cereal. BUT - again, I'm not a food snob, so if there's no almond milk, I go with it - OR I have something else.

Aside from smoothies - one of my ABSOLUTE favorite breakfasts is a piece of toast (Dave's - bigger loaves from Costco) with a piece of cheese, then spinach, then an egg. Sometimes, lately, I'll leave out the spinach and have avocado.  One day, I'll have it all ;-)

Anyways!  Sparkle on!

Back at it!

Yesterday, I couldn't stop thinking about the team, the logo, etc. I am not an amazing artist - so these are my doodles.

Initially, I thought a heart with a crack down the middle - one side purple, one green....and I was trying to make a team name...but then a DIFFERENT name it me "Race 2 Rise." Sometimes, racing is the medicine you need to RISE! To overcome. To get confident again. To know you CAN. To truly know you can do hard things :D

My logo: The left is the green ribbon for mental health. The right is the purple ribbon for domestic violence. Yellow and BLUE make Green. Red and BLUE make  Purple. Out of the ribbons (maybe somehow shaped like "R"s for Race 2 Rise) rises a (royal) BLUE phoenix (shaped like a "2") with silver flecks in her feathers, a sparkling green eye, and a purple beak.  In Ghanaian culture, there is a creature that looks to the past with the future held in the beak - so the phoenix is looking to the left....well, I just looked it up - it's looking right, but...meh - thought that counts https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sankofa

SO - this being said, I got excited to start working out again...after a treacherous 0.57 mile walk/tug - o - war with a puppy (almost 10 months) I took off on my own. Not huge miles by any sense of the imagination - but I think I PRd, and it felt good....aside from my lungs burning a pinch :D (No, I'm not sick...just...like, exercise induced asthma or something, idk...). It felt so good to be out again! I NEVER thought I'd be THAT girl. *insert LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY emoji and hiding behind my hands* I LOVE running at night. Uhh, it's the best thing - listening to my jams, not able to hear myself panting loudly so I don't die, the coolness of the air, the peacefulness of the streets! So awesome. So, so awesome :D

Random plug - I run in Brooks Ghost https://www.brooksrunning.com/, men's because I have wide feet and they fit nicely. My hiking/OCR shoes are Saucony Peregrine https://www.saucony.com/ again - men's. I also have my shoes one size bigger than my everyday shoes.

BTW  - Check out "Dear Evan Hansen" - I love it so much!

Sparkle on.

Getting Real

So, I woke up and was thinking  - "A dangerous past time..I know" - and something came to me! Well, I kept it to myself, then I watched this ever-so-spot on video

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IDPDEKtd2yM

This guy hit so many nails straight on their little heads.  Then - it hit me - I need to create a team! A team that proudly wears purple for domestic violence awareness and prevention as well as green for mental health awareness. Ba BOOM! Unite the two causes that are near and dear to my heart with racing!  Now - the planning of it all - uniforms, media, planning which races to attend, training, etc.

Now - the why. Ugh...time to get moderately vulnerable without writing a novel.  Thing is - this is my year. I thought 2015 was "The Year of Amanda" - but, it's really 2020. Heck, it'll probably be 2021 and so on.  I recently had a friend who had some life things happen and he declared it his year - but here's the thing...YES, you can define the parameters of your year - but "YoA" wasn't started to take advantage of, manipulate, or be mean to others. YoA - or whatever yours is - is to EMPOWER YOU - not steal joy from others. Just remember that, please?

My scoop in a nutshell - I'll be 41 in May. True story. I have battled anxiety and depression, been told by other unhealthy people I could be bipolar - but all things I've been working through.  I've had the panic attacks where you can't breathe, I've had the overwhelming emotion where I just needed to escape the building I was in, I've had the heaviness of the world on my shoulders. I've been in counseling...aka therapy, I suppose, for a pinch more than a year.  My life hasn't been as hard as some, but hasn't been a cake walk. Fortunately, my rockin' professional has walked me through so much that has happened and I stand/sit before you with a HUGE appreciation of the profession. I've lived the "you're not good enough, you can't do anything right, why did you even get out of bed this morning" life. There's been physical abuse, mental abuse, psychological abuse, emotional abuse....

Take this on for size - you stubbed your toe on the bed. Your toe healed, right? How did that affect your behavior? Which had the lasting impact? So often, we talk about physical - but the physical heals. Our body involuntarily heals itself. Our mind - sometimes we breeze through things and we don't deal with them - maybe we don't know how. Maybe it's all too painful...maybe it's everything. No wonder it can feel like suffocating and the desire for freedom is so intense, and we want it so badly, it seems hopeless...

Heck, I wanted to be a school counselor to be able to get to the kiddos who were going through stuff and needed an adult friend/advocate to help them through their stuff.  We don't talk about mental health in aPpRoPrIaTe ways enough. We talk about disorders and labels, but we LABEL. We still look down upon things. Though it's lessening, there is still a stigma.

Recently, I watched "Dear Evan Hansen." REMARKABLE in so many ways. C'mon, people! No one should feel like their "Waving Through a Window." https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kfnMvo87fQU

We're currently in the midst of a pandemic - it's not COVID-19. EVERYone is talking about that. If mental health and domestic violence were spoken about as much as politics and the coronavirus, we'd be living in a safer world. I don't mean free from Robocop types of violence, I mean safe in our vulnerability. https://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_the_power_of_vulnerability?language=en Safe to be us. Safe to freaking screw up and know we're going to still be loved.

I've watched some of my best friends and family members COMPLETELY self destruct because they didn't know how to confront the demons they carried - I understand it can feel suffocating and beyond manageable. In the TED talk, this hit me - something along these lines, "Are you really done living, or are you done feeling that way?"

I will be uniting my passions  - a lime green and purple team that TALKS! Because, frankly, sometimes that's all we need. Love!

Live Loved, my friends https://www.amazon.com/Uninvited-Living-Loved-When-Lonely-ebook/dp/B01864DVG6

Sparkle on.

Post Ragnar Spiritual Reflections

Before the race, we had to guesstimate our pace...I reported my pace. My captain calculated my exchanges a minutes LESS! I text her, especially after the accident (I wasn't able to train as intensely as I had planned) that I was almost positive I was going to be slower.. . I text her sometime before we started and said I felt my first leg was going to be longer.. By, like..30 minutes! She had confidence I'd be fine, even suggested I'd go faster.

Leg 1, very hard, 550 elevation, 8.7 miles.... Finished EXACTLY when she predicted, 19 seconds/mile under the pace SHE listed...1:19/mile less than what *I* listed.

Leg 2, easy, 4.4 miles, finished early, 1:10/mile less than what she listed, 2:10/mile less than what I thought I could so.

Leg 3, moderate, 4.3 miles, 1 mile left, (just after we'd exchanged texts) had to call and clarify where to go..my map wouldn't load..i lost a few minutes there...and my right knee decided it was done... it's the one that got hit in the accident....I limped my last mile.....I paused, half knelt, cried, and said a prayer out loud.I stood up and hobbled the last .8ish miles. I finished..I'd just finished my ENTIRE contribution, though the worst I'd done the whole time cuz of my dumb knee....

I cried..I looked at my time....0:16/mile seconds UNDER my predicted time.

Overall, my average pace was 0:35 seconds LESS than my captain put... And 1:35 less than what I put.

Sometimes we need the push in the right direction because we underestimate ourselves. Sometimes, it seems impossible. The challenge isn't something we would desire or even consider doing in our WILDEST dreams (do i LIKE running!?!?!?) sometimes we need to get uncomfortable to see what we're made of... So WE can know we're capable of more. Of doing better. It might be downright scary. It might seem downright impossible. Through people believing in us, we don't lower the bar on ourselves and achieve *our* impossible. 17.52 miles under a 13 minute pace... Even the Celestial Kingdom. 

Don't sell yourself short. You can do hard things when you run with Christ.

A ps to my testimony: leave who you are at the start line so you can finish as you are to become.

Sparkle on.

2020 Ragnar Del Sol THE RACE

So - if you don't know what the Ragnar is - it's basically a million hour relay race. Not really - I exaggerate, though it feels like a million hours in the moment. For us - we ran from Wickenberg, AZ to Mesa, AZ. About 200ish miles.  We had 2 vans of 6 and would take turns sleeping, eating, etc. and we ran varying distances and such. One of the cool things you get to do is decorate your van! We had chosen a camo theme, so we made the windows match - though...we decorated at night and questioned if anyone else along our route knew what it was supposed to be...we knew, we loved it!  OH! I forgot - so, each of the 12 of us had 3 legs to run, so as we finished our leg, we would mark off our square. It seemed nearly impossible at the beginning, but when that last box got the "x" it was a feeling of accomplishment I'd never had for a race.

 So - I was the first runner. My first run was 8.7 miles, and was "very hard" per the people who determine difficulty. I was so nervous! A few nights before, my buddy hooked me up with some tunes so I could run to music - so with our 7am start, I was all dressed up in this gear I'd never run in - it was crazy. Once we started, I clicked my tunes on which were on SUPER high speed. My buddy and his wife assured me I would want more music that I thought  - who wants to be running and have their playlist start over!? Ugh...well, I was so glad because for whatever reason, my music player was running stuff at 1.5+ speed! Imaging Dance Monkey faster...I messed with it for the first mile or so, but I gave up after some time and resigned myself to the fact I was gonna have to listen to my tunes like Alvin and the Chipmunks speed.

I survived some crazy hills that never seemed to end. Right when I would want to be giving up - my beautiful team was there cheering me on! These women were my angels along the way - truly! The first time I saw them, I nearly cried. It was something that I needed right when I needed it.  They were there a few times along this first leg, all at the perfect times when I was questioning what I was doing.  Random side - I ran 2 minutes walked 1 most of the way (that's how I survived, figured you'd wanna know how this ordinary girl did this ;-)) When I finished my leg, after I handed off my bracelet, I cried. It was INSANE! I DID SOMETHING INSANE! This  - I hate running, you couldn't pay me to run - girl just went the furthest and fastest she'd ever had (minus 3 half marathons and a trail run...but those were a long time ago) It was AMAZING!...haha, but then I was so sore for an hour or so!

My second leg - it happened at night and was cool.  ALL 3 of my legs were considered "night runs" so I had to wear my stuffs the whole time. I didn't care, though. I LOVE running at night - in the stillness of everything.

Starting my second leg was so confusing - the transition was at a school but I didn't know where to go - it was crazy, but I figured it out. On this run, I saw a few dogs and a few kids gave me high fives, it was funny. It dawned on me after the fact, I was running right by my niece's - I text her dad when I figured it out and he said they saw people running while they were grocery shopping!

After my second leg -  we were so worried about the next runner, and by this time we'd established we'd text the other 5 in our van when we were at the 1 mile marker (MY FAVORITE SITE THIS RACE)...so, after we'd hobbled to the transition a few minutes after we got her text...we were waiting - we knew she was hurting, but were so confused when she wasn't there...got really concerned! The phone rings - she asks where we are...we're like....at the transition - where are you!? She responds at the transition....umm, what!?  AHH! WE WERE AT THE WRONG ONE!  Ugh - so everyone runs back to the van - I go as fast as I can....and then we ZOOM over to get her and drop off the next runner....yikes, it was crazy - but we got there and it all worked out...

Poor thing gets cramps - and I'd mentioned I forgot my pickles....so when she got leg cramps, I was wishing I had my pickles - it was this race when I realized us in the Spartan world do weird things that people in the running world don't do...mustard, yes - pickle juice? Apparently, that's a Spartan thing..bahaha.

Leg 3! Wahoo!  The whole time we were worried about stalkers, wildlife, and I forget the rest - having to go to the bathroom along the course....I got out of 2 of them...

A family of wild javelinas...I kid you not...they are there!

I wasn't feeling amazing at this point - we'd gotten a text to tell Runner 1 to be mindful of  the mile marker - and when I got there, my phone had no service, so I called my captain - who was also the next runner. I was making pretty good time - then I stopped....and my knee FREAKED out - I could hardly walk - I was so stoked because it was going to be my best leg, and I literally had to limp to "my" finish. We were in last place...and I felt awful...but - the women on my team were SO supportive and gave me nothing but love!

 This was the last transition - van one was DONE!!!  Being the first runner was a HUGE  blessing for the night runs, but it was so hard to wait for the birthday girl as our 12th runner cuz it seemed like forever!  This is an amazing group of women. I love them.

Because of the accident, my goal was to cross the finish line, and that I did!

 My favorite sign the whole time!

 I earned this baby!

 Together, we do amazing things.

Sparkle on.

PS - we had some amazingly strong runners - we didn't finish last :D

2020 Ragnar del Sol Background (part 1)

Ok - so...if you know me in the slightest, you probably had to do a double take on the title of this entry! Bahahahahahahaha! Amanda? RUN!? She HATES running! I was that girl in middle school that the PE teacher didn't like cuz she'd WALK the mile. I'm that girl on the OCR course that's walking and has NO problem with a long time cuz...I HATE running. Well, let's be real for a second - why does anyone ever actually detest anything?  I'm GOOD at drinking chocolate milk and eating Oreos...is that something I detest or enjoy? If you guessed enjoy - you nailed it!

So - here's how it went down...I had this friend who did the Ragnar trail races and said I could do the 2019 race with him if I "proved my worthiness" - well, through a sequence of unfortunate things, I didn't get to race ...k, I'm about being open and honest, so here's the gosh honest truth...I was carrying around a bit of bitterness and happened to be asked by a dear friend if I wanted to do this race with her. WITHOUT hesitation - YES! I would love to! Ba Bam, I just committed to doing the thing I least like doing on a consistent basis.

Don't get me wrong, I LOVE racing - the feeling of accomplishment, bragging rights, perhaps inspiring someone who didn't think they could do it into even just contemplating trying something new and outside of their comfort zone - and the t-shirts and cool medals. As a "non-athlete" who always wanted to go out for sports but wasn't ever allowed, now in my 40s (gag) it's FINALLY my time to be able to do these things.  Starting new habits, though, is hard. No matter who you feel you have something to prove to or whatever - the main person you should prove ANYTHING to is yourself. Self? You never thought you'd be doing a road race, running even, let's see what you're made of!

So - the invitation was around Thanksgiving...so, I ran here and there...but nothing consistent. By the time Christmas was rolling around, I KNEW I had to get my act together because it wasn't the solo Spartan or mudrun I've done in the past - this time, I had a TEAM that I was running with. That was motivation enough for me...I think that's my biggest motivation: if someone is depending upon me to do something, I'll be the LAST person to let them down. So - I put together a training plan.

Ugh...I don't like the next part of what I'm about to say - so up to this point, I was running 2-3 times a week...throw in some crossfit here and there....well, New Year's Eve I had something happen by way of an accident which put me back on my training.  I wanted to run that day because it was a running day - but I was advised not to.  I'm glad, looking back - the adrenaline was still pumping through me, so I might have done more harm.

I was so bummed - at this point, my goal for my first Spartan this year (Chino) was just to finish - given my physical state, etc..hence why I wasn't super disappointed by the 4:30 finish time. (That's hours).

I text my team captain and told her what happened...I couldn't have been with a better group of ladies - honest!

So, I think I ran a couple short runs before the race ...so I was grateful for my training during the previous months, even though it was off and on - it really helped me!

Sparkle on.

Spartan Chino, CA

So, I'm about two hundred weeks behind on this race report!

This was the first Spartan of the season for me!  I was stoked to be able to take my racing season on the road and nervous at the same time! I'd only raced one venue up until this time - and that was AZ! I had NO idea what to expect.

 Along the course, I found a great duo of friends who where there running their first Spartan!  We chatted along the course and had a blast. I promised them I would stick with them the whole time, and I did.  We came upon an obstacle I hadn't seen before - a slip wall! Big aluminum thing...maybe a 45 degree angle with a rope to help you up. Well, it was ..awesome...not! I tried to get up the wall and at the top, I sliiiid down.  I decided to do what I tend to do - watch. So, I noted technique, etc....tried again. I slid down AGAIN! But, this time, I felt some heat in my hands.  I didn't think anything of it until I looked down - and then I saw the 4 tears/rips...OUCH!  I think my hands went into shock for a moment because I couldn't feel anything - at this point, I was repenting for any time I'd made fun of people for having gloves on the course.  I'd always been "Be tough - gotta do the course nekkid" - UNTIL my hands hurt so much I couldn't grasp things I took for granted....yeeeeooowzers!

When I looked forward to monkey bars because the coolness of the bars...you knew something was wrong!

 Regardless of my crazy, slow pace - one of my course mates actually got taken away by a medic, and a lovely Italian lady had some serious cramping towards the end of the course and all I understood was "pickle juice." K - side note - pickle juice is a real thing! Though my other racing non-Spartan friends thought it was nuts - I'm at home with my fellow Spartans and they totally get it.  It's a funky taste, and no - it's not green, but still vinegar-y and salty - and supposedly helps with the cramping. Never turn down a shot of pickle juice on the course!

I actually had a PR on the monkey bars! I usually drop after the first or second bar, this time I make it between the 6/7...or 5/6, I don't remember!

I think I finished this one in 4:30 ...so, it was slower than my first Super (which was my first Spartan ever  - back in 2018), but I took it easy and enjoyed the time.  I also had many many penalties to pay - I wasn't confident with doing burpees, so because I'm trying to make this year my best and progress - I did squats, sit ups, lunges - I think that was it this time.

I LOVE chocolate milk.  I have run the Cap City half marathon in Columbus, Ohio three times - the organic chocolate milk at the end of the course - AHH! BEST. EVER!

Sparkle on, my people, sparkle on!