Getting Real

So, I woke up and was thinking  - "A dangerous past time..I know" - and something came to me! Well, I kept it to myself, then I watched this ever-so-spot on video

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IDPDEKtd2yM

This guy hit so many nails straight on their little heads.  Then - it hit me - I need to create a team! A team that proudly wears purple for domestic violence awareness and prevention as well as green for mental health awareness. Ba BOOM! Unite the two causes that are near and dear to my heart with racing!  Now - the planning of it all - uniforms, media, planning which races to attend, training, etc.

Now - the why. Ugh...time to get moderately vulnerable without writing a novel.  Thing is - this is my year. I thought 2015 was "The Year of Amanda" - but, it's really 2020. Heck, it'll probably be 2021 and so on.  I recently had a friend who had some life things happen and he declared it his year - but here's the thing...YES, you can define the parameters of your year - but "YoA" wasn't started to take advantage of, manipulate, or be mean to others. YoA - or whatever yours is - is to EMPOWER YOU - not steal joy from others. Just remember that, please?

My scoop in a nutshell - I'll be 41 in May. True story. I have battled anxiety and depression, been told by other unhealthy people I could be bipolar - but all things I've been working through.  I've had the panic attacks where you can't breathe, I've had the overwhelming emotion where I just needed to escape the building I was in, I've had the heaviness of the world on my shoulders. I've been in counseling...aka therapy, I suppose, for a pinch more than a year.  My life hasn't been as hard as some, but hasn't been a cake walk. Fortunately, my rockin' professional has walked me through so much that has happened and I stand/sit before you with a HUGE appreciation of the profession. I've lived the "you're not good enough, you can't do anything right, why did you even get out of bed this morning" life. There's been physical abuse, mental abuse, psychological abuse, emotional abuse....

Take this on for size - you stubbed your toe on the bed. Your toe healed, right? How did that affect your behavior? Which had the lasting impact? So often, we talk about physical - but the physical heals. Our body involuntarily heals itself. Our mind - sometimes we breeze through things and we don't deal with them - maybe we don't know how. Maybe it's all too painful...maybe it's everything. No wonder it can feel like suffocating and the desire for freedom is so intense, and we want it so badly, it seems hopeless...

Heck, I wanted to be a school counselor to be able to get to the kiddos who were going through stuff and needed an adult friend/advocate to help them through their stuff.  We don't talk about mental health in aPpRoPrIaTe ways enough. We talk about disorders and labels, but we LABEL. We still look down upon things. Though it's lessening, there is still a stigma.

Recently, I watched "Dear Evan Hansen." REMARKABLE in so many ways. C'mon, people! No one should feel like their "Waving Through a Window." https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kfnMvo87fQU

We're currently in the midst of a pandemic - it's not COVID-19. EVERYone is talking about that. If mental health and domestic violence were spoken about as much as politics and the coronavirus, we'd be living in a safer world. I don't mean free from Robocop types of violence, I mean safe in our vulnerability. https://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_the_power_of_vulnerability?language=en Safe to be us. Safe to freaking screw up and know we're going to still be loved.

I've watched some of my best friends and family members COMPLETELY self destruct because they didn't know how to confront the demons they carried - I understand it can feel suffocating and beyond manageable. In the TED talk, this hit me - something along these lines, "Are you really done living, or are you done feeling that way?"

I will be uniting my passions  - a lime green and purple team that TALKS! Because, frankly, sometimes that's all we need. Love!

Live Loved, my friends https://www.amazon.com/Uninvited-Living-Loved-When-Lonely-ebook/dp/B01864DVG6

Sparkle on.