Full heart

 This is the end and a beginning. For the past year or more, I have had this team in my head. I still have NO idea what I'm doing. I got to a point last month where I'd decided....I'm going to make it happen. I reached out via FB for a graphic designer and found the phenomenal Eunice. She took my vision and made it more than anything I could have ever imagined.

When I first saw it - I was excited and the emotion got stuck. THEN - I sat down and just looked at the beauty. The symbolism. And I cried. I cried because I made something happen. I cried because, not only that - but...now my story will mean something.  I'm so excited to officially LAUNCH Race 2 Rise.

Race 2 Rise is open to anyone who is willing to be an advocate for health in the form of mental health advocacy and abuse prevention. I firmly believe that all forms of abuse could be eradicated if we focused on being mentally healthy. You'll notice the green in the logo, representing mental health. You'll see the purple which represents domestic violence and abuse awareness. You'll see blue at the center because children, youth, and childlike innocence is the core of our being. The gold and silver are royal colors, we are all royalty. You'll see a tear to mourn where we've come from and to show compassion for those still in their storm. Lastly - sparkle on her tummy and neck - our most vulnerable places - for when we allow vulnerability - we'll truly sparkle beyond anything imaginable. It doesn't matter your sport - as you sport the gear of R2R, you're going to promote conversations which foster awareness of these topics and this saves our brothers and sisters around the globe by giving them a safe space to talk, explore, and learn. I'm so excited to have you as a part of this! Please feel free to invite those you feel would be an asset to this team in promoting healthy conversations. Together we: Rise to Happy, Healthy, and Whole. #race2rise #savelivesandspirits #loveoneanother #starttheconversation #italk #sparkleon

Post Ragnar Spiritual Reflections

Before the race, we had to guesstimate our pace...I reported my pace. My captain calculated my exchanges a minutes LESS! I text her, especially after the accident (I wasn't able to train as intensely as I had planned) that I was almost positive I was going to be slower.. . I text her sometime before we started and said I felt my first leg was going to be longer.. By, like..30 minutes! She had confidence I'd be fine, even suggested I'd go faster.

Leg 1, very hard, 550 elevation, 8.7 miles.... Finished EXACTLY when she predicted, 19 seconds/mile under the pace SHE listed...1:19/mile less than what *I* listed.

Leg 2, easy, 4.4 miles, finished early, 1:10/mile less than what she listed, 2:10/mile less than what I thought I could so.

Leg 3, moderate, 4.3 miles, 1 mile left, (just after we'd exchanged texts) had to call and clarify where to go..my map wouldn't load..i lost a few minutes there...and my right knee decided it was done... it's the one that got hit in the accident....I limped my last mile.....I paused, half knelt, cried, and said a prayer out loud.I stood up and hobbled the last .8ish miles. I finished..I'd just finished my ENTIRE contribution, though the worst I'd done the whole time cuz of my dumb knee....

I cried..I looked at my time....0:16/mile seconds UNDER my predicted time.

Overall, my average pace was 0:35 seconds LESS than my captain put... And 1:35 less than what I put.

Sometimes we need the push in the right direction because we underestimate ourselves. Sometimes, it seems impossible. The challenge isn't something we would desire or even consider doing in our WILDEST dreams (do i LIKE running!?!?!?) sometimes we need to get uncomfortable to see what we're made of... So WE can know we're capable of more. Of doing better. It might be downright scary. It might seem downright impossible. Through people believing in us, we don't lower the bar on ourselves and achieve *our* impossible. 17.52 miles under a 13 minute pace... Even the Celestial Kingdom. 

Don't sell yourself short. You can do hard things when you run with Christ.

A ps to my testimony: leave who you are at the start line so you can finish as you are to become.

Sparkle on.

2020 Ragnar Del Sol THE RACE

So - if you don't know what the Ragnar is - it's basically a million hour relay race. Not really - I exaggerate, though it feels like a million hours in the moment. For us - we ran from Wickenberg, AZ to Mesa, AZ. About 200ish miles.  We had 2 vans of 6 and would take turns sleeping, eating, etc. and we ran varying distances and such. One of the cool things you get to do is decorate your van! We had chosen a camo theme, so we made the windows match - though...we decorated at night and questioned if anyone else along our route knew what it was supposed to be...we knew, we loved it!  OH! I forgot - so, each of the 12 of us had 3 legs to run, so as we finished our leg, we would mark off our square. It seemed nearly impossible at the beginning, but when that last box got the "x" it was a feeling of accomplishment I'd never had for a race.

 So - I was the first runner. My first run was 8.7 miles, and was "very hard" per the people who determine difficulty. I was so nervous! A few nights before, my buddy hooked me up with some tunes so I could run to music - so with our 7am start, I was all dressed up in this gear I'd never run in - it was crazy. Once we started, I clicked my tunes on which were on SUPER high speed. My buddy and his wife assured me I would want more music that I thought  - who wants to be running and have their playlist start over!? Ugh...well, I was so glad because for whatever reason, my music player was running stuff at 1.5+ speed! Imaging Dance Monkey faster...I messed with it for the first mile or so, but I gave up after some time and resigned myself to the fact I was gonna have to listen to my tunes like Alvin and the Chipmunks speed.

I survived some crazy hills that never seemed to end. Right when I would want to be giving up - my beautiful team was there cheering me on! These women were my angels along the way - truly! The first time I saw them, I nearly cried. It was something that I needed right when I needed it.  They were there a few times along this first leg, all at the perfect times when I was questioning what I was doing.  Random side - I ran 2 minutes walked 1 most of the way (that's how I survived, figured you'd wanna know how this ordinary girl did this ;-)) When I finished my leg, after I handed off my bracelet, I cried. It was INSANE! I DID SOMETHING INSANE! This  - I hate running, you couldn't pay me to run - girl just went the furthest and fastest she'd ever had (minus 3 half marathons and a trail run...but those were a long time ago) It was AMAZING!...haha, but then I was so sore for an hour or so!

My second leg - it happened at night and was cool.  ALL 3 of my legs were considered "night runs" so I had to wear my stuffs the whole time. I didn't care, though. I LOVE running at night - in the stillness of everything.

Starting my second leg was so confusing - the transition was at a school but I didn't know where to go - it was crazy, but I figured it out. On this run, I saw a few dogs and a few kids gave me high fives, it was funny. It dawned on me after the fact, I was running right by my niece's - I text her dad when I figured it out and he said they saw people running while they were grocery shopping!

After my second leg -  we were so worried about the next runner, and by this time we'd established we'd text the other 5 in our van when we were at the 1 mile marker (MY FAVORITE SITE THIS RACE)...so, after we'd hobbled to the transition a few minutes after we got her text...we were waiting - we knew she was hurting, but were so confused when she wasn't there...got really concerned! The phone rings - she asks where we are...we're like....at the transition - where are you!? She responds at the transition....umm, what!?  AHH! WE WERE AT THE WRONG ONE!  Ugh - so everyone runs back to the van - I go as fast as I can....and then we ZOOM over to get her and drop off the next runner....yikes, it was crazy - but we got there and it all worked out...

Poor thing gets cramps - and I'd mentioned I forgot my pickles....so when she got leg cramps, I was wishing I had my pickles - it was this race when I realized us in the Spartan world do weird things that people in the running world don't do...mustard, yes - pickle juice? Apparently, that's a Spartan thing..bahaha.

Leg 3! Wahoo!  The whole time we were worried about stalkers, wildlife, and I forget the rest - having to go to the bathroom along the course....I got out of 2 of them...

A family of wild javelinas...I kid you not...they are there!

I wasn't feeling amazing at this point - we'd gotten a text to tell Runner 1 to be mindful of  the mile marker - and when I got there, my phone had no service, so I called my captain - who was also the next runner. I was making pretty good time - then I stopped....and my knee FREAKED out - I could hardly walk - I was so stoked because it was going to be my best leg, and I literally had to limp to "my" finish. We were in last place...and I felt awful...but - the women on my team were SO supportive and gave me nothing but love!

 This was the last transition - van one was DONE!!!  Being the first runner was a HUGE  blessing for the night runs, but it was so hard to wait for the birthday girl as our 12th runner cuz it seemed like forever!  This is an amazing group of women. I love them.

Because of the accident, my goal was to cross the finish line, and that I did!

 My favorite sign the whole time!

 I earned this baby!

 Together, we do amazing things.

Sparkle on.

PS - we had some amazingly strong runners - we didn't finish last :D

2020 Ragnar del Sol Background (part 1)

Ok - so...if you know me in the slightest, you probably had to do a double take on the title of this entry! Bahahahahahahaha! Amanda? RUN!? She HATES running! I was that girl in middle school that the PE teacher didn't like cuz she'd WALK the mile. I'm that girl on the OCR course that's walking and has NO problem with a long time cuz...I HATE running. Well, let's be real for a second - why does anyone ever actually detest anything?  I'm GOOD at drinking chocolate milk and eating Oreos...is that something I detest or enjoy? If you guessed enjoy - you nailed it!

So - here's how it went down...I had this friend who did the Ragnar trail races and said I could do the 2019 race with him if I "proved my worthiness" - well, through a sequence of unfortunate things, I didn't get to race ...k, I'm about being open and honest, so here's the gosh honest truth...I was carrying around a bit of bitterness and happened to be asked by a dear friend if I wanted to do this race with her. WITHOUT hesitation - YES! I would love to! Ba Bam, I just committed to doing the thing I least like doing on a consistent basis.

Don't get me wrong, I LOVE racing - the feeling of accomplishment, bragging rights, perhaps inspiring someone who didn't think they could do it into even just contemplating trying something new and outside of their comfort zone - and the t-shirts and cool medals. As a "non-athlete" who always wanted to go out for sports but wasn't ever allowed, now in my 40s (gag) it's FINALLY my time to be able to do these things.  Starting new habits, though, is hard. No matter who you feel you have something to prove to or whatever - the main person you should prove ANYTHING to is yourself. Self? You never thought you'd be doing a road race, running even, let's see what you're made of!

So - the invitation was around Thanksgiving...so, I ran here and there...but nothing consistent. By the time Christmas was rolling around, I KNEW I had to get my act together because it wasn't the solo Spartan or mudrun I've done in the past - this time, I had a TEAM that I was running with. That was motivation enough for me...I think that's my biggest motivation: if someone is depending upon me to do something, I'll be the LAST person to let them down. So - I put together a training plan.

Ugh...I don't like the next part of what I'm about to say - so up to this point, I was running 2-3 times a week...throw in some crossfit here and there....well, New Year's Eve I had something happen by way of an accident which put me back on my training.  I wanted to run that day because it was a running day - but I was advised not to.  I'm glad, looking back - the adrenaline was still pumping through me, so I might have done more harm.

I was so bummed - at this point, my goal for my first Spartan this year (Chino) was just to finish - given my physical state, etc..hence why I wasn't super disappointed by the 4:30 finish time. (That's hours).

I text my team captain and told her what happened...I couldn't have been with a better group of ladies - honest!

So, I think I ran a couple short runs before the race ...so I was grateful for my training during the previous months, even though it was off and on - it really helped me!

Sparkle on.