Full heart

 This is the end and a beginning. For the past year or more, I have had this team in my head. I still have NO idea what I'm doing. I got to a point last month where I'd decided....I'm going to make it happen. I reached out via FB for a graphic designer and found the phenomenal Eunice. She took my vision and made it more than anything I could have ever imagined.

When I first saw it - I was excited and the emotion got stuck. THEN - I sat down and just looked at the beauty. The symbolism. And I cried. I cried because I made something happen. I cried because, not only that - but...now my story will mean something.  I'm so excited to officially LAUNCH Race 2 Rise.

Race 2 Rise is open to anyone who is willing to be an advocate for health in the form of mental health advocacy and abuse prevention. I firmly believe that all forms of abuse could be eradicated if we focused on being mentally healthy. You'll notice the green in the logo, representing mental health. You'll see the purple which represents domestic violence and abuse awareness. You'll see blue at the center because children, youth, and childlike innocence is the core of our being. The gold and silver are royal colors, we are all royalty. You'll see a tear to mourn where we've come from and to show compassion for those still in their storm. Lastly - sparkle on her tummy and neck - our most vulnerable places - for when we allow vulnerability - we'll truly sparkle beyond anything imaginable. It doesn't matter your sport - as you sport the gear of R2R, you're going to promote conversations which foster awareness of these topics and this saves our brothers and sisters around the globe by giving them a safe space to talk, explore, and learn. I'm so excited to have you as a part of this! Please feel free to invite those you feel would be an asset to this team in promoting healthy conversations. Together we: Rise to Happy, Healthy, and Whole. #race2rise #savelivesandspirits #loveoneanother #starttheconversation #italk #sparkleon

Dying in the Desert

    Ok, so - haha! Apparently, I was SO dead, I completely forgot to tell the story of DEATH in the desert. Thanks to CK for telling me I had NO WORDS here, haha. Here's the words:

About a year ago, I was supposed to race with some friends - but for various reasons, I couldn't. Well, the day of one of those races, I was gonna show someone I could do it - so I did a 10 mile run in the desert about a year ago. Well, fast forward to me finding some new friends who enjoy all the things, and we thought it a good idea to go hiking!

I couldn't remember where I'd been before, but I remembered it was a there-and-back, so I shared the approximate location to the best of my recollections and KN found, what we thought was, the path. The review on All Trails https://www.alltrails.com/ had said it wasn't shady and there were a lot of people..and, it was 14 miles.

See, here's the thing - I can't say I've EVER done 14 miles...not STRAIGHT!!!!  I've collected that, plus some, over about 14 hours - so I was starting to get nervous the night before...I text KN and she said not to fret, it was for fun. PHEW!

When we pulled to the trailhead, it didn't look right - so - THANKFULLY, I log my activities using Strava and/or Runkeeper (yes, I run them simultaneously to make sure there's a system of checks and balances.) SO - because of this, I was able to go back in my history to last July and find the pin! Success. For future reference, it's this:

A bit of backstory - my friend...and I...we're not from these parts. We knew there was a "heat advisory" and figured, hey - we wake up early enough, we'll beat the heat! We calculated when to wake up and were on the road by 5:05 AM.  We miiiiight have taken a wrong turn/missed an exit that isn't actually there going northbound on the 202 on the east side of the valley...so we didn't arrive at our said place and start hiking until just before 6:00AM.

The thing about there-and-backs...you just go THERE and you can go THERE as long as you want to go - at about 4.47 miles, we looked at each other with some fierce determination that we were going to do 10 miles today, so - that we did, we ventured forth until HER keeper said 5 miles because...well, my trusty plan? I forgot to click on my Runkeeper annnnd....Strava took a small vacation in the middle. Apparently, it's been having some issues and if you were tracking us, it looks like we went diagonally across the desert in a perfectly straight line. There was no perfection about our hike and it was NOT straight ;p

Along the way, we spied some amazing cacti - had some great conversations about...well, life! The best part of hiking, right?

After we kicked some 5 mile dust, we took a break - at this point, I realized how brilliant my mate is - she had a pair of socks to change into! This is when I started typing things into my phone, oh - and, when we started to notice - hmm, it's starting to feel a bit toasty. Thank goodness we were on THIS trail that offered a respite of shade from a mountain on the way THERE.

After eating my FAVORITE Honey Stinger Waffle and some jelly things from my last race https://www.honeystinger.com/ that were SO scrumdidliumptious, we decided it was now time for the BACK portion. 5 miles, we got this.

Well - ever been in AZ...the HOT doesn't happen until midday - hence the reason behind waking up early and heading to the desert. Well - PSA here...at this moment of the hike, about 8am...it was about 97 degrees....and it clicked....hmm...a HEAT advisory means issss gonna be hot EARLY and y'all can't escape the Crock-Pottiness of this AMAZINGLY freakishly living convection oven that is called Mesa, AZ on a map.

Breaks started getting more frequent as KN wasn't doing so well and that energy from the most perfectly made waffle in the world (though it crumbles under the pressure - Honey Stinger, if you're reading this - ya gotta work on the crumb-ility of your product if you're gonna market to us racers who put these things in pockets and crevices to keep the with us for our times of need.)

It doesn't really matter how much water you have when the sun is eating you like a kid eats Oreo ice cream...there came a time where I got the chills...and the headache above my ears...and I knew, things were looking grave. My pack? I got this for my longer races, I LOVE it - there's room to store snacks and such - maybe not a bajillion things, but enough. https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B01LLO83WA/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o01_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

Me n KN took a break under a patch of shade - you become SUPER grateful for ANY shade in this crockpot, I think we stopped beneath a mesquite tree...I was ready to take a nap (red flag, btw...don't take naps in the desert when it's 100+ degrees)...when the timer went off after our break, she heard a car and said she'd LITERALLY prayed for someone to come give us a ride...I prayed if it was His will, we'd get a ride - or, no ride if we were supposed to learn something.

Well, they slowed down enough for us to ask for a ride - but they were going "far out there" and couldn't turn around - and two more cars followed. Well, poo. Then, like it was the movies - a whole JEEP club pulls up! Miracle of miracles - this whole time, we're checking in with each other to make sure we're ok getting into some complete stranger's car - as long as she wasn't alone and I wasn't alone - I was game.  So, KN walks over to the lead Jeep...tells them our story, asks them to have mercy upon our ever withering and perishing souls, please have grace and pity and drive us the last mile...

"Sorry, we don't have room. It's less than a mile, you'll be fine." Maybe those weren't the exact words, but that was that.  10 cars had come...and we were a going BACK and it was apparent to me in this, our time of ever so much need, the Lord had a lesson for us.  I'm still not sure what that lesson was - but I'm sure it'll hit me in the head like a 2x4 someday.

We took breaks about every..heck, I don't even know - but by this time, we're past 9:00 AM. Those of y'all thinking, "It was only 9, suck it up buttercups!" The PRACTICAL lesson we learned? When it says HEAT ADVISORY - just don't. Stay home, go swimming, reverse what it's like to live in a snowy blizzard fest of Central and Northwest Ohio (my home) and stay in, well - at least where air conditioning is plentiful, water is cold, and if you take a nap, the vultures won't wake you by picking at your eyeballs...assuming you wake.

I knew with every fiber of my being, BECAUSE Father had sent so many vehicles, His message was loud and clear - YOU will do this and you CAN. So, I knew because of that that day wouldn't be on the right hand of my dash. It didn't make it less difficult. I still had the phantom goose bumps from heat exhaustion.

But - yes. You've guessed it - maybe because I'm writing this, maybe because you read my other post that came after this, maybe because you have faith that could swallow up a mustard seed - I'm not sure. BUT, KN and I - we conquered. We prevailed. We did HARD things.  She shared with me that until that day, the hardest thing she'd done was Flat Iron. She wants to go on Ebay or something and get a medal and make a design over the top of it and create a finisher medal for our 10 miles of death. I told her I wanted in on that.

We learned - doesn't matter how early you wake up on crock-pot days - it's already too late. Pack a change of socks cuz that'd be a nice refreshing thing. Place the bladder of your pack spout up halfway filled with water the night before to have cold water and coldness on your back while you're hiking...pack an apple, beef jerky (maybe we were craving salt?), hat, sunglasses, put a cold water bottle (frozen) in a cooler to be waiting in the car for you (It'll be melted and sweaty, but will be perfect and you'll welcome it's embrace), electrolytes, a squirt bottle, a small fan ON the squirt bottle, an umbrella (it's a thing! Those people aren't crazy walking around shielding themselves from the downpour of sunshine, they're GENIUSES!), hydrate DAYS before and fuel properly, TP, and a wipe (no story behind it, just security.)

It never dawned on me - der, Amanda - umm, you start hydrating the Wednesday before a Saturday race. I had one ick race with my buddy when it was the hottest day of the year thus far - and, of course, it went down the next day for what seemed like another month - so, I learned...but, my point - I KNEW I was going to hike that Saturday, but I didn't prepare.  Now, that wouldn't have alleviated the heat or anything, but I'm sure it would have helped :D

That's the story of dying in the desert folks. I don't recommend it, but if you're like me and are an experiential learner, well....remember:

You can do hard things, too. Just make sure it's not with a heat advisory.

Sparkle on!

The Helmet Realization

Race 2 Rise is a new project, passion, cause, movement, something that is near and dear to my heart.  I have been thinking this week, as real life/real time events have been happening in a friend's life - how similar somethings have been in mine.  I recorded a signed version for my D/deaf and Hoh friends.

Here goes - about 5? years ago, maybe 6 now - my husband and I were in our home - a cute little condo in central Ohio, and something happened that agitated him. Now, I can't recall what got his feathers all in a ruffle, but I do recall what happened next.

As I was sitting there in the family room, he boiled. I'm sure I wasn't innocent and sitting there just saying nothing - but at the same time, the possibility that I was just sitting there listening like I had for the previous ten years, is pretty high.

Two side notes before I continue - my husband was a cyclist. He loved buying all of the new gadgets for his sport - helmets, shoes, etc. Think about the gear a cyclist wears for a moment - a helmet is pretty much the only protective gear one would have. The helmet is designed to protect your head in the event of a collision with an object, moving vehicle, another cyclist - just, for this story - I want you to think of the impact that a bicycle helmet is designed to take.

The second side note - we lived in a condo - had a basement. In the kitchen, we had cheap linoleum that was probably installed like a sticker. The flooring wasn't that of ceramic, or other tile.

As my husband's anger increased, however it happened, he had his helmet.  In the rage of emotion, he threw the helmet on the floor.  That helmet - the one designed to take on a car to protect your brain? It cracked along the side.  It was in this moment that I became more terrified of the man I chose to marry, to honor, to cherish, to have, to hold for eternity than I ever had been in our marriage. If he did that to a bike helmet, what could he do to me?

I had a friend down the street, just a small jog away, that gave me a key in case I ever needed to escape. I had a change of clothing in my vehicle so that way I could leave and report to work if I needed to make a quick escape.

I share this, not for pity. I share this because this happens so often. Incidents like this happened in *my* home on a frequent basis. Our relationship started off swell. He bought things I loved, he showered me and my family with presents over Christmas, he called me, text me, said how I was his angel.  Looking back, this is called "love bombing."

I'll share more as time goes on, as to not make this a novel - but I wanted you to know an element of my story. An element of why Race2Rise is so important to me.

Combining my two "causes" of mental health awareness and domestic violence awareness into one - I FIRMLY, SOLIDLY, and nearly INFINITELY believe someone wouldn't hurt those who love them if they were mentally healthy and they would be able to love them, maturely, in return.  We don't talk about these things enough. Even myself. I think of how often I've uttered "corona virus, toilet paper, tissues" and such over the past month - but I haven't shared my story. Not enough.

I have a keen radar for these things too - once you have an experience, you tend to notice similar experiences. I talk. I'm here. As important as it is to find a cure for COVID-19 - more people are affected by abuse and a lack of proper resources to be healthy than anything I can think of.

Join me? At least, share my story. Sparkle on.

Back at it!

Yesterday, I couldn't stop thinking about the team, the logo, etc. I am not an amazing artist - so these are my doodles.

Initially, I thought a heart with a crack down the middle - one side purple, one green....and I was trying to make a team name...but then a DIFFERENT name it me "Race 2 Rise." Sometimes, racing is the medicine you need to RISE! To overcome. To get confident again. To know you CAN. To truly know you can do hard things :D

My logo: The left is the green ribbon for mental health. The right is the purple ribbon for domestic violence. Yellow and BLUE make Green. Red and BLUE make  Purple. Out of the ribbons (maybe somehow shaped like "R"s for Race 2 Rise) rises a (royal) BLUE phoenix (shaped like a "2") with silver flecks in her feathers, a sparkling green eye, and a purple beak.  In Ghanaian culture, there is a creature that looks to the past with the future held in the beak - so the phoenix is looking to the left....well, I just looked it up - it's looking right, but...meh - thought that counts https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sankofa

SO - this being said, I got excited to start working out again...after a treacherous 0.57 mile walk/tug - o - war with a puppy (almost 10 months) I took off on my own. Not huge miles by any sense of the imagination - but I think I PRd, and it felt good....aside from my lungs burning a pinch :D (No, I'm not sick...just...like, exercise induced asthma or something, idk...). It felt so good to be out again! I NEVER thought I'd be THAT girl. *insert LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY emoji and hiding behind my hands* I LOVE running at night. Uhh, it's the best thing - listening to my jams, not able to hear myself panting loudly so I don't die, the coolness of the air, the peacefulness of the streets! So awesome. So, so awesome :D

Random plug - I run in Brooks Ghost https://www.brooksrunning.com/, men's because I have wide feet and they fit nicely. My hiking/OCR shoes are Saucony Peregrine https://www.saucony.com/ again - men's. I also have my shoes one size bigger than my everyday shoes.

BTW  - Check out "Dear Evan Hansen" - I love it so much!

Sparkle on.