Listen

THOUGH I felt like the weakest link this past weekend with the guys, they treated me kindly and waited for me - even when I said - go forth!  Something about not running for ...months... and then being pushed brings out the, what I call, "running snots." But - know what? Without that awesome group - I wouldn't have known that I can push myself...I'm kinda lazy ;P It pushed me to get  back moving, though - not just with living room workouts, but back out there - to my *shudder* happy place of running in the morning dawn when it's cold and...perfect. Day 1. 2 min walk,  1 min run...supposed to be 10 rounds, but I think it ended up being 12 plus some extra cuz I wanted to hit 3 miles.

This morning, I did something I don't usually do..like, ever. I ran in silence.  I had my headphones in so that I could hear my timer (Gym Boss - thanks to Bri for the tip!) and all I could hear was my breathing and my feet on the pavement.

Typically, I listen to music - Pandora's running mix. Today, I decided to try and make an effort to experience what some talk about - clearing your head.  I can't honestly say if my head got cleared...but I did reflect on some recent conversations with folks...clutter. It's everywhere. It inhibits us from seeing the forest for the trees. It seems we become so hung up on this or that that we forget to count our blessings, see things for what they could be, take those risks - we find ourselves bypassing those moments where we could and SHOULD choose to trust that we just run through listening to the noise of the world around us: other people, our fears, our inhibitions, our doubts.  "Doubt your doubts before you doubt your faith." Easier said than done, sometimes.

It's especially hard to focus on blessings when your world seems to be spinning and you can't find a focal point.  One of the thoughts I had this morning was: depression is real. Counting our blessings can't cure it. But, know the other thought I had? SOMETIMES life can be so suffocating - even a 2 second respite of counting our blessings is two seconds more than we may have had other wise. Maybe next time it turns into 2 minutes. 2 hours. 2 days. 2 weeks. 2 years. 2 decades. Eternity filled with gratitude.

This morning, in the silence... I pondered. I observed.

 I witnessed. I experienced. I'm not changed, but I was aware. I did hit a 7:58 sprint, so I was thrilled about that :D

 Maybe it's worth it - to clear out the noise. Even if it's just for 2 seconds. #Sparkleon